May 2010 Archives

Fotygrafts and Egolatry

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There are a few subjects about which I can speak with a reliable degree of expertise and authority, but literature is not one of them. My reading habits, especially over the past four years, have been sporadic and scattershot at best, and I somehow missed out on reading most of the classics that people are "supposed" to have read by the time they graduate from college. I might blame the fact that my high school literature program was really half focused on international literature and half focused on drama. I know a lot more about Mahfouz than Hemingway.

It saddens me to think how terrible a reader I am now, since I used to read voraciously. Although when you count up the words read per day (in tweets, web articles, emails, and magazine articles) I probably still read just as much as I ever did.

Anyway, I've never really taken the time to explore Ann Arbor's collection of great used book stores, so a couple weeks ago, I walked over to West Side Book Shop. I'm not sure what I expected to find, but after a half an hour of browsing the packed shelves, I emerged with two small, old volumes: The Fotygraft Album by Frank Wing and I. Youth & Egolatry by Pio Baroja.

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The former is a strange little book from 1915 that basically contains portrait drawings of wacky people, ostensibly someone's relatives. The subtitle is "Shown to the New Neighbor by Rebecca Sparks Peters, Aged Eleven." So each drawing is accompanied by this imaginary eleven-year-old's commentary on the people depicted. It's pretty bizarre, but cute. I can only imagine that this is the 1915 equivalent of a Family Circus anthology.

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This drawing, for example, is accompanied by the following description:

"Pa's cousin Stella, dressed up in some of her ma's old clothes fer a mask ball. Pa drawed in that streak and that printin'. He's a reg'lar artist and he ain't never had a lesson in his life, neither.

"He calls this pitchure 'Stella as Ajax defyin' th' lightin'!' "

The second book, Youth & Egolatry, is certainly less fluffy, but equally perplexing in its own way. As the introduction by H. L. Mencken (or as the West Side Books guy exclaimed to me "Mencken! From Baltimore!") explains, Baroja was a prominent Spanish author and intellectual around the turn of the twentieth century. The contents of the book are a strange mix of commentaries, thoughts, and observations, broken into short segments, which generally follow a loose thematic train of thought. For example, a section entitled "The Veils of Sexual Life" is followed by "A Little Talk," in which he discusses how he sometimes thinks he would have been happier if he were impotent.

Both books hold a collection of odd little gems that you can pick up on a whim and admire. They're foreign, archaic, and perplexing, but ultimately fascinating.

Summer Doldrums, Part One

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I am so bad at summer vacation. I always have been. As a kid, I would get bored within a few days and start hounding my mom, trying to get her to entertain me. In theory, it's nice to have a few months of R&R before starting the next phase of my life, but in reality I find idleness stressful, not relaxing. Somehow, wasting time is only enjoyable if I'm putting off doing something else I need to do.

Job-hunting is ostensibly my job right now, but it's so free-form and unstructured (not to mention thankless and soul-crushing) that it doesn't feel like I'm working measurably towards a goal. It's nice to have a more quantifiable distraction, like another little job redesigning my friend Max's personal website. Unfortunately, that's going to be done all too soon.

I'm feeling like this blog has become a place for me to come to complain about my problems, and that probably isn't fun to read, if there are in fact people out there reading it. I'm trying to think of something cool, upbeat, and interesting to discuss. Ummm.

Well, I've been watching Six Feet Under. I'm balanced on the edge of deciding to keep watching it or quit, almost done with the second season. It's well-written, but SO. HORRIBLY. SLOW. Internet tells me there are a variety of interesting actor cameos to come, but so far it's been fairly bland. It feels like it takes episodes and episodes for conflicts to play out.

I'm almost done playing through Plants vs. Zombies the second time. I bet you find that exciting, reader. It's not, really, though. Ugh. Auuuuuugggggh.

Somebody give me something to do. Put me to work. I need a job.

I need to remake my wardrobe.

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Yes, it's true. Again. Always. Maybe more so now than before. I'm coming to realize that last summer was a catapult that launched me in a variety of new directions, or at least brought some things to the forefront that had been lurking in the background of my personality before. Even though I really sorely failed to take advantage of New York to the fullest while I was there, the experience of being there on my own and working pretty directly in the fashion/food/travel/luxury industry affected me a lot.

Working for Epicurious gave me a dose of information about the food world and cooking technique that got me really interested in the foodie universe and more passionate and open-minded about food. That's been pretty smooth transition, since I was already inclined towards eating delicious things and being crafty.

Fashion is another thing entirely. Browsing Style.com for hours gives you a pretty good appreciation of high fashion, but getting into it personally is another thing. I love the aesthetic sensibilities of fashion, but it's immensely difficult to apply them to yourself. First off, prying myself away from my high school graphic-tee-and-blue-jeans uniform has been remarkably difficult. Not only does it comprise the bulk of my day-to-day wardrobe, but it's comfortable and safe.

I've been trying to ease out of that mode through a slow transition--boot-cut jeans to skinny jeans, unisex t-shirts to v-necks. I managed to wean myself off of sweatshirts onto sweaters. I'm supplementing my workhorse sneakers with more feminine flats. There's still a long way to go, though, and the real world is approaching with startling speed. I really want to have an acceptably female and adult closet by the time I start a job.

Getting that to happen is going to take a number of tough steps for me. I'm going to have to be able to wear a dress casually. It's so difficult. Really more so because I'll have to deal with the inevitable "Cathy, you're wearing a dress"s from EVERYONE I KNOW. Yeah, thanks for pointing that out, guys. Thanks for making me that much more self-conscious. Ugh. It's inevitable. The same thing happens every time I decide to wear eye makeup. I know people only do that because they're noticing there's something different about you and trying to be attentive, but it's really kind of terrible.

I'm going to have to also be able to wear heels casually. I'm going to go ahead and blame my mom for this particular neurosis because she is clearly from the "heels can never be comfortable" camp, which I think it probably a harmful generalization. I certainly have never owned comfortable heels, but I think that's probably because all my heels tend to be ultra-formal, since the Fishers only wear them for major holidays and formal events.

I'm going to have to start accessorizing. It's something I've sort of always avoided because it didn't go with my fabulously gender-neutral ThinkGeek shirts. Because of that, I haven't really bought a necklace since middle school. My only wrist wear is a watch. I ditched my rings a couple years ago. I don't have any non-winter scarves or headwear, really.

The point is really that all of this needs to be built from the ground up. In some ways, that's freeing; I have a blank palette. It's also terrifying. And potentially very expensive.

Other impetuses for this post:

The Almighty Schedule

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As my roommate and fellow recent graduate Zack and I sat staring at each other, numb with boredom, on Tuesday, we decided we needed to have a daily schedule to bring some order to the emptiness. He's got about a month and a half until he moves to D.C. to start his job, and I have, you know, an indefinite period of time until I move somewhere and start mine (because it does not exist). We tried it out yesterday, and it not only filled the hours, but was consistently fun. Hopefully it'll last.

Since certain persons have expressed interest, here's the details of that schedule. I hope it can help those with a similar plight bring structure and happiness to their empty days.

8:00 Wake up/Wake the other up
8:15 Workout time: Tennis TTh, Run MWF
10:15 Shower
10:45 Brunch
11:00 Will & Grace
12:00 Alone time/Personal development
2:20 Afternoon Snack
2:35 Relaxation/Meditation/Communion with nature
4:30 Adventure time
6:00 Happy Hour/Dinner Prep
7:00 Dinner
8:00 Dicking around/Cultural betterment & enrichment
10:40 Share secrets

So that's it. Won't have another scheduled day until next week, since Zack's off camping with his family. I guess in the meantime, I should apply for jobs. :/